outfit: suddenly not wanting the thing I really wanted

Uniqlo ribbed top | Whole Foods lunch bag | Everlane relaxed chinos (size 2) | Everlane square toe flats | Cluse watch

This post is going to be about how I really wanted a piece of clothing, something happened, and suddenly I didn’t want it anymore.

This happened in a straight forward way when I tried these square toe flats from Everlane. I’d been stalking these shoes since they were first announced a few weeks ago and after reading a few good reviews about them, decided to give them a try. The black ones look classic and stunning in person, but unfortunately they are too tight across the top of my feet, and leave linear indentations on my skin after a brief period of wear. It’s a bummer they don’t fit because they look so good and would be the perfect work shoe.

Just prior to buying these shoes, I was obsessed with the Martiniano flats, particularly the one in umber. I had been stalking them for much longer and really wanted a pair, but then something happened and I suddenly didn’t want them anymore! I met a friend for lunch at a pho restaurant in a very hipster part of town. A man and woman were sitting at the table right next to ours. When they got up to leave, I caught a 2 second glimpse at the woman’s shoes.

She was wearing the Martinianos! I of course recognized them right away and tracked them with my eyes, even turning my head to get a better view. They looked just as good in person as they did online. But something about the act of recognizing them so easily in person, made me suddenly realize I didn’t want to be on the receiving end of that interaction. I didn’t want to wear something so recognizable, and maybe not so recognizably expensive too. I don’t think I could’ve predicted the reaction I had to my own reaction. I still love the design and admire them on other people, but it’s no longer something I want for myself.

A similar thing happened with this beautiful teddy bear coat I tried on at Bloomingdales from Maje. It’s a thick, luscious coat, with unique architectural details.

When I wore it, I felt like such a “cool girl”, which was something I simultaneously wanted and wanted to disavow. Then a few weeks later, I was again in a hipster part of town at a bar arcade restaurant joint, and noticed the same coat on a very cool looking girl, wearing jeans, white sneakers, and a long beanie that was just barely on her head, such that it looked more like the loose tip of a condom (eek). She was texting at rapid speed on her cell phone. Her friend in an almost identical outfit showed up a minute later, and they snapped a few selfies. Her entire outfit, the whole scene, was so “cool”, and then suddenly, I didn’t want the coat anymore. It felt a tad too young, and trendy.

Seeing the things I really wanted out in the wild, on someone else, changed my perspective. It was an interesting effect.

On a positive note, these relaxed chinos worked out great. They look and feel like 100% cotton chino fabric, but actually have a tiny bit of stretch in them. I bought them because unlike most of pants everywhere, the waist to hip ratio is closer to one, which suits my straight, ahem, large waist, rectangular body type. The hips width is smaller than most pants out there and I think they get away with it because of the stretch material. I think they actually look too tight around the hips on the models featured in the online store. They are so tight at the hips, that one can see the unsightly outline of the pockets. On my body though, the pants are still slightly loose around the hips, so no visible pocket lines on me (yay). I was surprised to find button closures instead of a zipper on these pants. I prefer zippers over buttons, but this isn’t a big deal. The front pockets are generous enough for my cell phone which is really important for me while I’m moving around at work.

What about you? Any good finds lately or have you ever changed your mind on an item of clothing after seeing it on someone else?

9 thoughts on “outfit: suddenly not wanting the thing I really wanted

    1. True. Would say that at least 50% of the time, I lose interest in the thing if it’s on my wishlist for long enough.. usually about 6 months or so.


  1. I agree with you, those chinos are styled so small on the Everlane models. The actual garment measurements make it seem like they intended a more relaxed fit so I really don’t understand why they showed them skin tight. I tried them for a work conference and really liked the fit (except that the white was too light and had a LOT of pocket show through). I have a straighter build like you and found them comfortable at my waist without being huge everywhere else.


    1. I noticed that about the white ones on the model too. I had the same problem with a white turtleneck and white slouchy trousers from them as well. But they are pretty up front about it in the photos..


  2. I’m a lot more likely to start wanting something even more desperately after seeing it in real life on someone, haha. It’s definitely possible for me to be put off of an item I’ve been wanting if something about seeing it in person really drives home that the item won’t work for me (whether it goes perfectly with an aesthetic that is so not for me, or, more likely, if how it fits on a very different body type suggests strongly that it won’t look good on me), but I don’t think that specific situation has ever come up.

    I do change my mind about a lot of wishlist items if I sit on them for a very long time (and sometimes things drop off the list, but can pop up again because I’m indecisive).


    1. Like you, probably more frequently I want something more after seeing it on others.. it surprised me when the opposite happened in these cases. Funny how that works.


  3. I read an account of a similar experience over on Manrepeller about the ubiquitous NYC/Amazon down jacket and how it was perfect until the wearer saw it EVERYWHERE and on EVERYONE. I am far more likely to see something on someone else and want it MORE for myself (especially Everlane because the one consistent is that their clothes almost never look on my body like they do on the models’ since I’m 5’3 and curvy with a long torso). It has definitely happened with looks, if not particular items. I went to a concert several years ago and almost every girl had the same outfit (and was a solid 10-15 years younger than I was at the time). That was the first time I really questioned the age-appropriateness of clothing (I wasn’t wearing the items, but liked each of the pieces enough that I wouldn’t have written it off otherwise). Ditto the tunic/skinny jeans or leggings/tall boots look that became 90% of my Pinterest after they started suggesting pins to me. The nail in the coffin was the “Han Solo Season” meme. I’ve barely touched my tall boots since and can’t decide whether to resell them or hold onto them for when they invariably feel fresh again.

    But oh, Everlane. I have the khaki straight chinos, blue WL chinos, and 90s jeans in my cart right now. I’m waiting for the Summer jeans to drop in 12 days. I will probably try the straight chinos and the Summer jeans, as I have the WLC in the original inseam and it’s a bit long on my short legs, but they don’t offer these or the WLC in short to try right now. The longer inseam is likely okay on the straights.

    I’m unsure what to do about sizing. I have 26 Modern Boyfriends, 27 Stretch Cigarettes, 2 and 4 in the WL Crops. The 26 MBF fits great most of the time; the 2/4 in the WLC are currently snug to organ-rearranging (I’m carrying an extra 10 lbs), and the 27 in the stretch is comfy, but the button-fly pulls, and I don’t find that attractive. So a 6/28? Especially if I’m slightly pear-shaped? I don’t mind ordering extra and returning, but I’m paying down the last of my credit-card debt and I don’t want to have to choose between tying up cash in store credit and losing $5 in return shipping.


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